The Sun Sets, but a Pale Light Remains

Jake LaMotta knew how the Dolphins & I felt by halftime this past Sunday

By the end of the game against the Texans, the Dolphins had managed enough of a comeback to maintain a certain amount of self-respect ("You never got me down, Ray."), and to push down some of the bile rising in my throat. Still, there was no doubt which was the better team that day. It was nauseating.

As dejected as I was after that affair, the desperately optimistic part of me was glad to see that, by the numbers, Miami's not out of it yet.

Here's the step-by-step miracle that we should hope for, in no particular order of impossibility:

The one o'clocks:

(1) The Browns beat the Jaguars. We may actually have a decent shot at this one. The Jags, while mathematically alive, are even less so than the Dolphins. They're playing in Cleveland and Mangini has to be on a really short leash, feeling the Arctic walrus breath of Mike Holmgreen on the back of his neck. The Browns have actually won a few games and may do the Phins a favor here. Impossibility Factor: 4/10


(2) The Patriots beat the Texans. Belichik may be pulling up stakes and heading for the playoffs in this one. The Pats have very little to play for at this point (home field in their 2nd playoff game, possibly), and the Texans are playing for everything. It's in Houston, where the fans are starving for a trip to the playoffs that will legitimize their existence. And, deep down, what would Satan's minion, Belichik, love more than to send one right up the Dolphins' cornhole by mailing it in? Impossibility Factor: 7/10


(3) The Game. If the Dolphins don't win, then nothing else in this post matters, really. However, without the bother of scoreboard-watching, I think they have an excellent chance to win. It's in Miami, the Steelers look to be without Polamolu to end the season, and our guys have to still be smoldering at how they played that first half against Houston. If they can keep the fire they showed in the second half kindled, they should be kicking dirt on Pittsburgh's season by 3:00. Impossibility Factor: 2/10


If the football gods have grown tired of smiting the Dolphins and deign to grant them the previous three boons, then we can stay tuned at 4:15 for:


(4) The Raiders beat the Ravens. Earlier this year, this would have been laughable. Now, though, I'm a bit more confident. The Ravens are a bit banged up and have to travel to the west coast, where the Raiders have been showing some vague resemblance to an NFL team in recent weeks. Some of the actual talent on that team is showing up, and they've shocked more than one decent team this year. The Ravens are never a walk-over, but I see the Raiders taking them out. Impossibility Factor: 5/10


And should the Dolphins still be swimming, point your bottle noses to this one at 8:20:


(5) The Bengals beat the Jets. Not only the last snag of this Gordian knot, but maybe also the tightest. Like the Pats/Texans game, this one is yin for one team, yang for the other. The Jets are playing for their lives, and the Bengals can afford to use this as their de facto bye week. Cincinnati coach Marvin Lewis says he's going into it "full speed," due to his team's youth, in the hopes of avoiding complacency. I truly hope that's not just smoke & mirrors. The game is in the Meadowlands, and will be the final pro football game there, ever. The fans will be berserk. Maybe a horde of drunken Jets fans will storm the field, urinate on the refs, and the Jets will be disqualified. You may laugh, but these are Jets fans we're talking about here. Barring that, this one doesn't look good for the guys in teal. Impossibility Factor: 8/10


So there you have it. It's a true gauntlet. If the Dolphins come through this one with a playoff spot in their flippers, I swear that next season I will not say word one against the football gods. Hear my plea, oh Mighty Ones!! (If you can't grant me this slew of victories, at least let me see Dan Marino storm the field in Jersey, wearing a teal suit, and give Rex Ryan a flying side kick to all of his four chins. It may be more likely than the wins. And more rewarding.)

All I Want For Christmas Is Some Dead, Grilled Steak

No offense to driftin, who hails from Texas. Incidentally he does have horns so that about settles that.

The Titans are eliminated. The Eagles will handle the Broncos today and the Steelers, I know in my heart of hearts, will defeat the Ravens.

This of course will make next Sunday's game against the Steelers an honest-to-goodness, non-cliche, playoff game.

Oh. I forgot. We've never beaten the Texans.

Without resulting to concepts such as "being due" I'll make my bold proclamation right here. The Dolphins will beat the Texans today.

The Andre Johnson Thing

That is taking into consideration how a mobile quarterback and the best wide receiver in football will somehow not destroy the Miami secondary. Granted, Vontae Davis and Sean Smith have risen to the occasion nearly every time they've faced a top flight receiver.

What I don't like is how top flight Andre Johnson is. I'm not sure he can be stopped and so I'll waive the white flag and say that if the Phins can hold him to a TD and less than a hundred yards they've got a shot.

Point blank: They won't cover him.

The Trenches

What they can do is pressure the QB and this has never been more necessary that today.

On the flip side the Phins protection has to step up. Mario Williams and company are very good, as is Demeco Ryans at the linebacker spot. Lousaka Polite and base protections are going to have to spring Williams for some big plays. The Phins have to get back to looking to the run game for big plays and alleviate some pressure from Chad Henne.

Chad Henne

And speaking of Spartacus Cannonarm, the leash needs to come back out. While I fully believe this is a future Pro Bowl QB, he is still essentially a rookie and playing with a average receiving corps. One of the bigest keys today's game will be to get Henne back to a Pennington-esque game managing style game where big plays develop organically instead of being forced.

Trick Plays Welcome

The cute shit hurt us lots in some previous weeks but I'm going on the record here saying that a reverse or a true wildcat formation (with White at QB and Williams as the "cat") would be welcomed by me. Hell, I'm even for it at nail biting times.

The bottom line is that the Dolphins are still a team that needs an "x" factor. We're close to being a team that can simply line-up and beat teams up on both sides of the ball but close, as they say, counts in games other than the one we're concerned with.

So all that said, here's to a perfect Sunday in Dolphins world. I saw it in the crystal ball so rest assured it will happen.

I Believe

Fuck the zebras. How's that for a start?

I won't get into the bullshit holding calls on Paul Soliai. Especially because my previous post and lead picture seemed to auger future events. Bully for me, eh buds?

I also won't discuss the disappearing fumble, the invention of unnecessary roughness and other works of metaphysics.

What I will tell you is that the Broncos are going to lose two more games and the Dolphins will win two more.

Amidst the gloom of this horrid loss I am telling you, Dolfans, that the Miami Dolphins have a very real shot at making the playoffs.

The Broncos will lose to the Eagles next week and then, sayetht he prophet The Phinisher, Chris Chambers will have a big day and win one for the Dolphins.

Mark it. Love it. Cherish you fates.

Really? I'm Calling Bullshit On That.

Well, we're snowbound up here in PA. Luckily we've organized an 11am kickoff for some snow football and in a mere hour or so I will be warming up for it with a beer or three. Then it will be time to watch the Dolphins.

Before I begin my rant I'd like to take a moment and give the Titans some props. That is the flavor of the moment on Dolphins blogs, articles and everywhere else on Shula's Orange and Teal Earth.

This is the best team that the Dolphins will have to face in their final three games. This Titans team is far more closely related to last year's team that went 13-3 and then got hosed in the playoffs by some awful calls against the Ravens.

Fuck the Ravens. Fuck Cam Cameron. Fuck the Pats. And hell, why not make it a triple: Fuck the Jets again, for the third time.

Outburst shelved, let me now say that the Titans are not as good at the things the Dolphins are bad at as people seem to think. Yes, the Phins slow middle linebackers are going to have trouble containing Vince Young on broken plays or delayed QB keepers.

But no, Vince Young is not going to make them pay by throwing to an athletic tight end that exploits the linebackers and Gibril Wilson up the middle of the field. No, their wide receivers, though good, are not exactly the hardest match-ups our young DBs have faced.

The Chris Johnson thing... The guy is sick. He is way too fast and seems to glide forward, backward and to the side all at once when he makes a cut. While Johnson is small, he is also tough and uses his ridiculous velocity to break tackles. The stats don't lie: This is the best running back the Phins have faced all year.

That said, they've faced and stopped some really good ones too. Michael Turner. Thomas Jones. Ladainian Tomlinson & Darren Sproles. Maurice Jones Drew. Fred Jackson and Marshawn Lynch.

There are some good backs and the key stats there are how they played against the elite ones. MJD got shut down last week. Michael Turner the same. So while Chris Johnson can score on any play, I am not willing to come into the game expecting to see him set history. I trust our boys up front.

Finally let me address this Kevin Mawae vs. Paul Soliai thing. All week long the South Florida media has been nursing from Mawae's johnson. Omar Kelly, who is usually one of my favorites, even went so far as to describe Soliai as a "baby" when facing Mawae.

Keven Mawae, 6'4" and 289 lbs.

Paul Soliai, 6'4" and 355 lbs.

Soliai has 19 tackles and a very impressive forced fumble in limited play. Since Jason Ferguson went down Paul has been asked to step his play and fill in. He nursed an ankle sprain for a couple weeks but has been dominant in his return. Last week against the Jaguars, Soliai registered four tackles and one of them for a loss.

The media, and probably his teammates as well, have put the sombrero on Paul this week. He's going against one of the nastiest, dirtiest centers in the league. A guy who makes up for his small size with dirty tricks and hard-as-nails play.

From all accounts Paul is ready.

"I've been watching film of Mawae and all he does is single block people. I hope he gives me the same. If the opponent runs the ball well it's my fault, especially if they run it up the middle."
-Paul Soliai, taking responsibility.

And speaking of badass defensive lineman, let me finish this post with one brief concept.


Randy Starks is playing his first game against the Titans since they parted ways.

I'm calling it: Two sack day for Starks. That's Randy "Straight Ballin" Starks. Randy "I Devour" Starks. Randy "Please, Go For It On Fourth Down" Starks.

So "bullshit." I don't see why so many people are finding themselves with limp dicks this Sunday morning. The Phins win today and when they do you find yourself pulling for a team that can beat anyone.

Don't Eat The Cheese

Last season we learned about one of Bill Parcells' more eccentric catch phrases.

"Don't eat the cheese" is a line taken from an old cartoon and it means essentially this: Don't buy your own hype, whether good or bad.

Ted Ginn, don't buy into being a bust.

Chad Henne, don't buy into the belief that you're the second coming of Dan Marino.

Ricky Williams, don't worry about the thousand yard mark or the fact that you're an age defying legend in the making. Don't listen to me when I say that shit.

Randy Starks, well, actually you're pretty much the man. I'm not worried about what you do.

Dolphins secondary, play like it's the first game of the year. There is no track record of failures over the middle and no recent elevation of play.

"Don't eat the cheese" is about seeing between the lines and limiting the scope of that vision even further still to what is before you. For two weeks now you are the toast of ESPN and the NFL Network, two things that you haven't been in years.

Guys are picking your team to win the AFC East and if nothing else be the most dangerous Wildcard coming into the post-season. A strangely defiant team that can lay an egg or take the paint off of the opposition's helmets.

Don't buy any of it. Don't eat what their feeding you. Do as Coach Sparano said and "get better every week."

That's what the Titans have been doing.

Vontae Used One Finger Too Many

This was a fun week. Every time I was starting to be saddened by something like the obnoxious commercialism of the holidays or seeing another advertisement for the movie "Old Dogs," I would just think of two little numbers: 22 & 21. Instant smiles.

Brady trying to come to grips with his own douchebaggery

Perhaps as good as the victory itself are the hushed tones that ESPN and NFL commentators have adopted since their "Superman," Tom Brady, has dared to look like a mere mortal during key games this season. Could he, he, be slipping? Are we witnessing the end of the Golden Boy Era? If Belichick's strategies, a healthy Randy Moss, and arrant penalty flags for so much as thinking of touching Saint Brady can't keep him up on his pedestal, then perhaps it's time to stop the incessant sychophantry. It's been highly amusing to see the glazed look in Chris Berman's eyes when he dares contemplate the mere possibility that neither the conference nor even the eastern division are the Patriots for the taking any longer. While the bigger AFC picture is still somewhat up-for grabs, the division is ripe for the Dolphins to leap up and pluck. However, lest I get ahead of myself:

The Jaguars. Weird team. It's not unusual to have a schizophrenic team in the NFL. Every year, there are one or two teams who will vacillate between showing their absolute best and absolute worst from week to week. But the Jaguars have been performing this way for years now. I'd love to look at their injury report and say that it looks favorable, which it does, if this were a normal, more predictable team. The fact is that no one is sure just what the hell Jack Del Rio, his lame leather jacket and his team are capable of. Sure, they're missing a few key players but Jones-Drew is still in their backfield, and he's enough to make any team and their fans a bit nervous.

While the question of whether we're going to get the Dr. Jekyl or the Mr. Hyde version of the Jaguars will only be answered at 1:00 on Sunday, there are plenty of other intriguing elements to ponder and anticipate. Keep an eye on defensive end Tony McDaniel, who the Jaguars traded this past off-season for nothing more than a 7th Round pick; which, in NFL terms, is roughly equivalent to trading him for a tattered jock strap. Word is that McDaniel is itching to prove that Jacksonville backhanded him a bit, and has even walked the dreamworlds and glimpsed his own and his current team's approaching success: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/football/story/1378110.html

Not this time, Randy. Time for you to start taking plays off again.

The Dolphins secondary seems to keep getting better and better. Sure, they gave up 350 yards passing to Brady and Welker had another day that, if it weren't Wes Welker, would have been incredible. But, most of the major strikes came in the first half. After that, you really didn't hear the name "Randy Moss" or anyone other than Welker's, for that matter. We're even getting to see some well-earned cockiness from rookie cornerback Vontae Davis. If you didn't see it, he threw up the "Number 2" sign to let Tom Brady know that he had just picked him for the second time this season. Let's see some of that confidence and momentum carry over and allow the linebackers to help out on the run, something the Jags are likely to lean on, if Sims-Walker has to sit out.

I'm also perfectly OK with the greater use of the pro set and de-emphasis on the Wildcat. Henne wasn't without his hiccups on Sunday, but Jesus! The guy threw fifty-two times!! And, just like in the Bucs game, he overcame a potentially game-losing interception to mount a brilliant, pass-heavy drive to end up on the mountain top. He's still overthrowing guys several times a game, but most of them harmlessly, and his receivers hands seem to be developing the three-inch-thick calluses needed to catch his 275 m.p.h. passes. It's really fun watching this guy develop. I doubt the Dolphins will ask as much from him against Jacksonville, but it's great to know that he's more than capable of shouldering the load and leading the charge.

...and Two steps forward.

Chad Henne, AKA Spartacus Cannonarm, leads his men past the forces of evil. Thirteen QBs had to come and go since #13 retired for us to arrive at this point of destiny.

What a difference a game makes. I started Sunday morning like a man resigned to his fate. Donning my Ricky Williams jersey amidst the swirl of hangover fumes I thought only of the the things I still appreciated.

There was watching Ricky every week. There is the development of our young corners to monitor. There is the potential of running back Lex Hilliard. Then there is the excitement of watching our young future of the franchise go out and sling the ball with confidence and power.

And watch him go slug for slug with Tom Brady and walk out of the ring the victor. Chad Henne, in a 1989 Ford Crown Victoria (a very nice car by the way) out drove Tom Brady and his Ferrari.

This one was THE STATEMENT game of the NFL this weekend and for the most part the NFL and it's lesser brained cousin, ESPN, has been silent. The AFC East is changing.

Their is greater parity in the division for one and for two there is a new team on the rise. One that now possesses the most critical accoutrement that every championship team has. Namely an elite quarterback.

Third, this team has a cast of youthful talent emerging on a defense that for a long time has been defined by its age. Paul Soliai made a tremendous play on the redzone 4th done stuff. Cameron Wake had the game-sealing pressure. Vontae Davis out-hustled Randy Moss to intercept Tom Brady in the endzone, something that has only been done three times since 2006. Kendall Langford, Randy Starks and Philip Merling are all young and playing extremely good football.

And though Sean Smith had his name called a couple of times on Sunday there is no denying that this kid could be a superstar someday. In any case, that big play with Aiken is one that Smith makes nine times out of ten.

Which brings me to the biggest change I saw on Sunday. This team is not the team that nearly beat the Colts and probably did beat the Saints (thanks NFL refs). That was a more deeply talented team. Jason Ferguson was at nose tackle. Ronnie Brown was healthy on pace for a career year. Will Allen was providing a buffer for two rookie corners so that they didn't have to wear the sombrero every week. Jake Grove was at center, mauling opposing lines with mustachioed confidence.

This is a patchwork team right now. Granted, we may get Grove back soon - and with a difficult schedule from here on out it is almost a necessity we get him back. The reality though is that the Dolphins just played their most complete game.

They played against the Patriots and they came out on the right side. They persevered despite going down 14-0 early. They opened up a passing attack that has been tentative all season long. They played tough prideful defense in the redzone (stopping the Patriots TWICE in the redzone). With over a minute left they made Tom "Terrific" look like the whiny, sniveling bitch that he is. I'm just surprised that they didn't call roughing the passer on Cameron Wake for taking Tom Brady down low. Seriously. Brady could of been hurt. Heh.

The reality here for us Phins fans is that we have a very good, perhaps ascending to incredible, quarterback that can single-handed win a game. We have a lot of young talent on a defense that is a few pieces (free safety, anyone?) away from becoming dominant.

Again, we out-slung the Pats. Let that soak in.

As for this season, which is now far from over, we should all be thankful for relevant football in December. The Dolphins need to win out and the Patriots need to lose to an AFC team in order for the Phins to win the division. We also get to play three of the wildcard hopefuls down the stretch here and so in a way we hold a grasp on our fate.

If the Phins run the table we will have essentially beaten five playoff teams in a row. You have to like walking into January with that kind of momentum.

Here's to a Patriots collapse. Keep going for it Bill. Love watching you guys lose.

In Spartacus Cannonarm we trust.

One Step Backwards...

...that I can only pray leads to the figurative "two steps forward." And I dream that the first of these two steps is right on the Patriots' collective faces.

Why, oh why, couldn't the Bills just, for once since the early 90s, be somebody and beat the fucking Jets? I suppose that the Bills' role is something similar to The Trickster character in world myths: a wily and usually dislikable maverick whose sole purpose in existing is to foment chaos. If this is the case, well then, the Bills are doing a bang-up job. They beat the Pats and the Dolphins, two teams that should have crushed them. Then, they go to nearby Toronto and drop a fat turd on the field that the Jets managed just enough leg to kick out of their way to a lackluster victory. If only the Dolphins could have done the same.

Without revisiting last Sunday's debacle too much, I have to ask what sometimes goes through the heads of the offensive play callers. The game opens, your defense forces the Bills three and out, then the O-line and Ricky start running wild on them. It would have been a touchdown-scoring drive that knocked the Bills back on their heels right from the jump. Having it end in an interception as the result of an attempt at trickery was really the beginning of the end, in my mind. As early as it was, it bailed out a Bills defense that was already reeling, and left the Dolphins bereft of 7 points. At this point, it seems to me that this team really needs to bag the trick plays (and I don't consider the Wildcat a "trick play") and stick to the things that they have shown that they can do extremely well: run the ball and let Henne's passing keep the defenses honest. Against Buffalo, they once again seemed to have gone to the passing attack a bit too early, especially against one of the better secondary backfields in the league. It cost them.

'Tis the Season. And by this, I mean, if the Dolphins lose this one, that's it. The AFC Wildcard is too much of a logjam of 6-5, 6-6 (fucking Jets), and 5-6 teams to even think that a 5-7 team will make it. So, if the Phins want the rest of this season to mean anything more than getting reps in before pre-season 2010, they'd better bring everything they have. and by everything, I mean this guy:


Lost in that humiliating loss to the Bills was that it was Ricky's third straight 100-yard game since 2003. The guy is a true freak, in every way and in every positive sense of the word. My familiarity with Rikcy goes back some time, I've always loved him, and I think he's one of the most misunderstood and undeservedly insulted people in pro sports.

As a student at Texas A&M University from 1993 to 1999, I watched Williams run rough-shod over my team year after year. Despite my disgust at watching my Aggies get trounced repeatedly, I couldn't help but love the Longhorns' #34.
He was quick, immensely powerful, but more than that, interviews with him revealed an articulate, thoughtful and sensitive human being. While still a student, some friends of mine at UT let me in on some of Williams' oddities. One friend got on an elevator in which a lone Ricky Williams stood. Upon entering the elevator and having the doors close, rather than face my friend, Williams turned his back and faced the corner like a scolded elementary schooler. This was the first glimmer I had of Ricky's later-clinically-diagnosed social anxiety disorder. Once he broke into the NFL, people chuckled and shook their heads as they got to see more of Ricky's peculiar behavior: the wedding dress ESPN Magazine cover with Mike Ditka and his insistence on wearing his shaded visor helmet during post-game interviews are two of the more famous examples. Most wanted to drop the label of "weirdo" on him. This was just plain laziness. These were the actions of a man trying desperately to meld multiple aspects of his disparate soul - the professional athlete with once-in-a-generation, world-class skills dealing with the brightest of spotlights; and the spiritual, soul-searching free soul who undoubtedly would prefer to be just another traveler in search of a more complete happiness than domination on a football field could provide. And let's not forget that: as much as I love it, football is just a game to be played, watched and analyzed for our enjoyment. I think Ricky always knew this in his heart, but wasn't sure of how to seek out more profound experiences while still being a highly-paid, highly successful pro athlete.


He managed to find some kind of balance for a little over five years. Then, it all caught up to him. He forced himself into the choice between working within the rules of NFL and professional sports culture and becoming a true pilgrim. The latter was the path he took, using marijuana as a source of peace. And this is when the true misunderstandings began. NFL fans and commentators were all too ready to dismiss Ricky as just another pot-head and, I believe, lump him into the category of loutish hoods who didn't have the common sense to get out of their own way and embrace the meal ticket that life had given them in the form of athletic talent. This most certainly was not the case. Yes, Williams was in a struggle, but I always felt that it was a struggle to be respected. Amidst the ganja, yoga, scripture readings, and journeys abroad, Ricky was on a quest more profound than many NFL fans, commentators, and players could comprehend. These were the actions of a very deep individual who had to look in unusual places to find any answers to the questions that he was asking himself. They were the kinds of questions that philosophers have been puzzling over for millenia, with marginal success in finding answers. Ricky Williams began to ask those same questions about himself and existence and learned what all those who asked them before had learned: the road to the answers is far from a straight line.

What Ricky became was a spiritualist and philosopher somewhat trapped in the body of a bad-ass physical specimen who had found himself using his athletic prowess to make a paycheck. Being a person whose most outstanding physical achievements include placing 6th in a high school long jump competition, I can only imagine what such a thing feels like. But I do know what it feels like to ask questions about things that go far beyond our own physical limitations and experiences, and I think I can understand where some of Ricky's previous doubts and confusion arose from. This is why I love what's been happening on the Dolphins since last year began. Seeing Ricky run the ball like it's 2003 again is only a part of it. Since returning from the last suspension, in interviews and at practices, he seems to be a man who has found much of the balance that he went searching for all those years ago. He knows he's not a typical NFL premier running back (which he is, by the way: 11th in the league in rushing only being the starter 2 times) or even a typical pro athlete. Not by a long shot. The difference is that he now seems far more accepting of this, as do his coaches and teammates.

There are still many commentators and egomaniacal talking heads who will either ignore Williams' resurgence, or use people's misconceptions of him to make cheap jokes, just as they did in the past. I choose to take joy in watching a man who took the path not taken, fought his way through the stumbles, scrapes and bruises that come on the road of soul-searching, and seems to have found an admirable synthesis of body and mind, and a form of inner peace. That part of that peace includes him returning to an NFL field and reminding everyone of the physical gifts that won him Doak Walker Awards, the Heisman, and Pro Bowls; well, that's just a bonus for me.

I know it's at the expense of Ronnie Brown's unfortunate injury at this point, but the mantra is still the same: Run, Ricky Run!! And leave a trail of battered and torn Patriots in your path, my man.