6 Days Later

So, I woke up this morning on the floor of a local sports bar. This is pretty unusual for me, the more so for the tingling feeling that something had passed me by. Slowly, a panic overcame me and I realized that, being Monday, I was late for work. Slowly pushing myself up from my prone position on the floor, I called out a question about the time to the bartendress, who yelped out in shocked amazement.

A few bloody Marys and ten minutes of confused conversation later, the entire situation became apparent to me. There I had been, 6 full days prior with my Dolphin-loving cohorts, watching what was shaping up to be THE turning point in Miami's slow-starting season.

The Phins were crushing the Saints. New Orleans seemed to have no answer for the Wildcat and Ricky Williams. The defense, while not flawless, was making the Saints offense pay for their miscues. In the second quarter, our boys up 24-3, my friends and I bid a smug farewell to the small cadre of Saints fans who dejectedly made their way out of the bar. All was right with the world.

And then, the rest of the game happened. The Dophins stopped running the ball and decided to let Chad Henne try and get into a shoot-out with the best passer in the game today. I'm no expert, but I knew that was not a good idea, even with a 14-point lead. With each successive Saints touchdown, I got drunker, more pissed off, and a bit closer to the spot on the floor that I would occupy for the succeeding half-dozen days. Apparently, it eventually got to be too much, I crawled under the table, put my head down on the beer-soaked floor and stayed there in a comatose state. I guess the patrons in the place noticed the Dolphins T-Shirt adorning my carcass, shook their heads understandingly, and just let me be.

Now that I have awoken and remembered the horrors of last week's final two-and-a-half quarters, the only emotion I feel is a smoldering anger. After seeing the Dolphins' post-game interviews, I at least feel that I am not alone (see fellow writer Phinisher's links).

Now, all I want for All Hallow's Eve weekend is for Jason Taylor, Ricky Williams, and any of the rest of the team who is more than a little disgusted to turn that anger on New York Jets. The Jets are just the sweat-soaked punching bag that the Phins should use to get their technique back. I don't really care how they do it. In week 5, Henne and the offense showed that they could pick apart Ryan's blitzes, so that's an option. Or, if Ryan adjusts, I'm fine with a steady diet of wildcat formations to frustrate and exhaust them. It doesn't matter. As long as I see Ricky and/or Ronnie spike the back of the head of some Jets D-back on their way into the end zone and I see Jason Taylor get Mark Sanchez in a choke hold that would make Jake the Snake Roberts proud, I will be pleased.

Those, and a ridiculously one-sided victory for the Dolphins. If it comes in another squeaker like week 5, I don't think I'll be satisfied. I want domination, just like I think the Phins do.

The Worst Kind Of Hangover

What do Ted Ginn, Jr and this statue have in common? They're both busts, of course.

There are three major and three minor reasons the Dolphins dropped the ball against the Saints. Here they are in all their gory detail.

I don't like calling individuals out, but on this day there are some sombreros being worn.

The Three Major Reasons

1. Ted Ginn, Jr.


Maybe his family can start playing more?

Well, Teddy... What can we say? You're a Miami Dolphin. Two dropped passes, one of them a perfectly thrown down-field pass which you insidiously tipped up for Darren Sharper to return for a touchdown.

Then there was the five-yard reverse you ran, which you were able to securely slink out of bounds one yard shy of the first down. Lousaka Polite got it for you on third and short. That guy has his nuts however, so we'll consider it a typical situation.

Lastly there is the fact that your second drop came in the fourth quarter Henne was trying to claw out of the pits of Miami receiver hell.

Basically, Teddy, you are a bust. As a fan I am done with you. Here's to Patrick Turner's eminent start.

2. Gibril Wilson

Not sure what to say here other than you're missing tackles and can't seem to locate the tight end until it's too late. If Gibril Wilson even marginally plays Shockey we win that game.

Yeremiah Bell had a game. Sean Smith had a game. Vontae Davis played great, saved a touchdown. You, sir, did not. I know they won't pull the trigger, but Chris Clemmons is starting to look better and better.

3. Play Calling

I won't hate too much on Henning's play calling, but I will put as the third largest reason the Phins lost. With a strong lead the Phins abandoned the running game, calling just 8 running plays in the second half. Eight. Ricky Williams was practically unstoppable and you stop feeding him the ball?

Okay, I lied. I will hate on Henning. Seriously. Run the fucking ball. Slow the game down and take possessions away from the Saints. Why we decided to get pass happy with receivers dropping passes left and right (hell, Davone Bess had three drops).

The Three Minor Reasons

1. Channing Crowder

Channing, can you shut your mouth and make a play once in while? Three tackles. You're the starting middle linebacker and you make three tackles?

I like you bud. You hit hard and don't back down from taking on bigger backs. I'm just thinking that you might not have it. On a day where everyone was stepping up you stepped nowhere.

A forced fumble would be nice. Or a decent pass breakup. I won't ask you to pick off a pass. That would be way too much.

2. Anthony Fasano

Drops, drops and drops. Are you kidding me? Why can't anyone that is not Greg Camarillo (whose bonehead out-of-bounds toss will not be discussed) or Davone Bess (and even he dropped three yesterday) catch the ball?

Unbelievable.

3. The Fans

Big game. The Phins are coming off a by-week and a big win. A win against the Saints and your team is in THE CONVERSATION.

And yet I was looking at a lot of empty seats. That's embarrassing. Seriously people. Go to the fucking games! I wish I lived close enough to.

The Positives

Jason Taylor is awesome. 3 tackles 2 assists. Two sacks. Two forced fumbles. A batted pass that led to an interception. A handful of QB pressures otherwise.

Go ahead JT. Tell the haters what's up.

Ricky Williams is awesome. My favorite Dolphin is running better and better every week. If Henning had gave him the ball another eight times and we win this game.

Sean Smith and Vontae Davis are good. Davis saved a TD on the kick return by Roby. With Will Allen out for the year with an ACL tear, our cornerback tandem of the future will be on full display from here on out.

I like Will Allen and he was a big part of last year's storybook team. But his play has been inconsistent this year and I believe starting Vontae will be a full upgrade.

Stir The Pot

Chris Clemmons and Patrick Turner should start. Particularly Turner.

Ted Ginn is done. The thumbs have finally turned down for good. As to Clemmons, I figure Wilson has shown about as much as he is going to.

How The Dolphins Will Beat The Saints: A Play In Three Acts

Most people are unaware that Ronnie Brown works as a wrecking ball in the off-season.

Act One - Time Of Possession

We all know that the Phins have the highest time of possession in the NFL and that they're running game is the top ranked. We've heard endless talk of how the Wildcat does this or that for the Dolphins.

The reality is that Miami's offensive line is playing elite ball these days. They're blowing guys off the line. The jets' Kris Jenkins was getting beaten down by Jake Grove and company, something that Samson Satele could not do.

Today, against a really good Saints team, the Dolphins will (guaranteed) run the ball alarmingly well. They need to and should. The Saints defensive line is undersized and should be much easier to deal with than the big'uns fielded by teams like the jets.

That said, what we don't want to see is a Saints line out maneuvering our edges and getting penetration on the outside. Really, this is my only fear.

Act Two - Throw The Ball

You would have thought some grand speech about Miami playing suddenly dominant pass defense would be the ticket for today, but I am really not that big of a bullshitter. The Phins will get lit-up today. No doubt in my mind.

Chad Henne will have to build on his stellar comeback victory against the jets and sustain long drives by converting crucial third down passing situations and making the big throw down in the red zone. If the Phins fall behind, which is likely, it will be up to Henne to show more of that big play arm of his.

Dan Henning will simply have to be willing to trust Spartacus Cannonarm with winning this game.

Act Three - Convert Every (Any) Stops Or Turnovers Into Points

This is one of those games. Any and every turnover they can somehow snatch or punt they earn will have to be converted into points. A Drew Brees interception is wasted if we can't at least get a field goal off it.

There is little margin for mistake in this game. The Dolphins are averaging 34.5 points a game since Henne took over. They will need to put up those kind of numbers if they want to win.

A win here proves a lot. If, and I feel it in my bones that they will, beat the Saints today then the Miami Dolphins are looking like an elite team.

If they win today I will say some things that have not been said by Phins fans in a long time.

Go Phins!!!

Friday Roundup

Incidentally I highly recommend not using this ground water poisoning weed spray. Just want that clear.

Bringing back a classic today (if this neer-do-well blog has such a thing as a classic).

Que dramatic music and monster truck cashathon voice: "The Friday Roundup."

Basically I or my associate driftinscotty will give you links to the creme de la creme of Dolphins stories from throughout the week.

Okay, let's get to it.

Yeremiah Bell

The first thing any Dolphins fan should be thinking about going into this game is whether or not the Miami defense can even remotely hold its own against Drew Brees and the (cliche warning) high flying New Orleans Saints offense. In particular the safeties, whose play has been less than stellar.

Edgar Thompson at the Palm Beach Post has a nice article about Yeremiah Bell, which has a vote of confidence from Paul Pasqualoni. The thing that I take from this one is that Bell has not lost a step. It seems he merely needs to hit his stride.

Jason Taylor

Really grumpy Jason Taylor interview over at Aquavision. Grumpy JT is so much cooler than dancing JT.

I hope he steals Brees' stupid gold cleats and sells them to Kimbo Slice.

The Offense

Two links here. One to an absolutely awesome article debunking myths surrounding the Wildcat formation by Dave Hyde for Sports Illustrted.

The other is to a Chad Henne interview on Aquavision. This guy has ice water in his veins. Sensible, polite and intelligent ice water, but ice water nonetheless.

NFL Videos

Here's a link to the NFL's gushing Saints-Love game introduction. God I want Kimbo to wear those cleats.

Then finally there is the match-up vid, which the NFL does for each game every week. What did I take from it?

The Dolphins are a very good football team, which will rely on their league leading time of possession and the number one rushing attack to punch NO's undersized line in the mouth.

Every seems to forget that Chad Henne is Spartacus Cannonarm and that Spartacus Cannonarm can score quickly too.

And that need to score they keep talking about?

Well, how about this: The Dolphins are averaging 34.5 points per game since the Chad Henne era began two games ago.

Go Phins!

How To Get Dwayne Bowe

The 6'2" Bowe is a proven and young wide receiver. He is a legitimate #1 guy and would be a big target for Chad Henne to locate and throw a few hundred TDs to over the next eight years.

But he is a Chief and I'm not just making this up.

The rumors of the Chief's desire to move Bowe have been getting louder as the trade deadline looms mere hours away. The two teams that get mentioned the most are the Ravens (more than any other team) and the Dolphins.

The rumor goes like this:

The Chiefs want to build depth for the future and they would like to get multiple picks or players for Bowe. The most common rumor is that they'd take a 2nd round and a mid-round pick. Maybe with some personnel.

So here's how the Phins get Bowe, that is if they want him.

The Chiefs are currently struggling to install a 3-4 defense and need help at the OLB position. So... Let's package Matt Roth with a 3rd or even 2nd round pick and try and get the Chiefs to bite.

We get our franchise receiver. They get a solid draft pick and a well-trained OLB who can play strong side.

What do you think? I for one, am all for it.

It Is Up To You, Spartacus Cannonarm

A few weeks back I did a piece on what can be "expected" from Chad Henne. I cautioned against knee-jerk reactions to errant passing and an interception or two. I stated that many great NFL QBs have started very slow and supported this claim with links to first season stats of a few of these guys: Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Carson Palmer, Peyton Manning and Ben Roethlisberger.

Each of those now household names struggled early on. The fastest to gain success was Ben Roethlisberger, who after three games became a skilled game-manager for a dominant Steelers team, which came within a hair of the Super Bowl. They won the next year.

The reason I cautioned against the quick reaction to any on-the-field struggles of a new QB was that the Miami Dolphins fan has become accustomed to seeing poor QB play. In the back of their mind they picture Dan Marino, who needed no warm-up games. Dan the Man simply showed up and dominated. I didn't want a slow start to be quickly translated into a failed draft strategy by fans.

Chad Henne will always be the guy the Dolphins fished for late in the second round instead of drafting Matt Ryan. Ryan's spectacular start to his rookie season left many a Dolphan wondering if it was the right decision.

Now obviously many of us feel it was. Jake Long was a great pick-up and has played dominant ball after a rough start in Atlanta. But now what if I told you that Chad Henne is off to a better start than Matt Ryan was in his first two starts? What if I told you he is off to a better start than any of those household names were in their first two starts? Now, egads man, what if I told you that Chad Henne (aka Spartacus Cannonarm) was off to a better start than Dan Marino (hallowed be thy name) was in his first two starts? Would you be impressed?

Okay. How's this statement:

Chad Henne has a better QB rating in his first two starts than any other quarterback in the history of the NFL.

That's what Matty I at The Phinsider is reporting this bright Autumn morning. No QB has posted a better rating through two games at the start of their career. Not Johnny U. Not Danny M. Not John Elway or Joe Montanna. Not even Steve Young, who had plenty of experience and was handed the keys to a Ferrari, out-played Chad Henne through the first two starts.

Now it is only two games we're talking about and Henne faces the biggest test of his young career when the unbeaten Saints come marching into Miami this Sunday night. It is a somewhat kooky statistic but one worth noting. If nothing else it means that the composure and stoic field awareness some of us saw in Henne is clearly a reality.

So this Sunday night, when the Dolphins secondary is exploited for the sieve that they have resembled all year long, and the pass rush is spinning its wheels against a dominating New Orleans offensive line, the Dolphins offense and Chad Henne will be asked to pick up the pieces. The league's number one rushing attack will have to shred the clock to pieces and Spartacus Cannonarm will have to punch lunch tickets for six-bucks a pop.

This is not a game for field goals.

A win here, Cannonarm, and even ESPN will have to note that you just might be the second coming.

I Thought He Was Kinda Funny...

Is there anything worse than a fat guy with skinny arms? There is. A fat guy with skinny arms and a big blowhole.

...and then Rex Ryan just kept on yapping. I know some people were immediately annoyed with the "Ra-Ra" attitude that Rexy exuded from the second he was hired as the Jets coach. I have to admit that, even as a Dolphins fan, I was more amused and curious than aggravated. After years of stoic coaches who refused to "disrespect" their opponents by talking a little smack, it was a bit refreshing to see a guy who wore his aggression on his sleeve.

Well, five weeks and a game against the Dolphins later, and I've had enough. The deal-sealer was the post-game press conference when Ryan, rather than offer real credit to the Dolphins offense for running their game plan with outstanding precision, simply took a dump on his own defense:

“I used to see all those gimmicks when I was coaching back in college,” Ryan
said. “I’ve been a part of some bad performances before on defense, just not
this bad.”

I mean, to hear him, you would think that the Jets D just took their helmets off and carried Chad Henne into the end zone. God forbid that Ryan should acknowledge that a kid playing in his second start actually managed to remain poised enough to find the open receivers on the short routes and carefully pick apart his vaunted blitzes, or that offensive coordinator Dan Henning had done his homework and prepared extremely well. No, Ryan decided to denegrate his own team instead, referring snidely to the Wildcat offense as a "gimmick" play. "Gimmick," Rex? What, like fake punts and the "Seminole" formation? (Note: see how Channing Crowder responded to said "Seminole.")

This brings me to the current hornet in my helmet - that no one seems to recognize the Wildcat as a legitimate and effective NFL set. Commentators, opposing coaches, and everyone else under the sun keeps referring to it as if it were an amusing little trinket that will eventually be forgotten and discarded. Meanwhile, every team in the NFL is trying to integrate it into their scheme, with a very low success rate. What no one seems able to admit is that very few, if any, other teams have just the right guys to run it effectively. I'm no expert, but the Wildcat seems to be effective only when you have highly versatile backs, and I can't think of any tandem that's more versatile than Ronnie and Ricky. They're both smart, strong and quick, both can block and catch well, and Ronnie can even throw a decent short pass. Other teams appear to think that you just have to line up in a weird-looking formation and opposing defenses will immediately lose their bearings. Such does not seem to be the case, and other teams are learning this, albeit slowly. I don't know if it's a lingering dislike for Ricky Williams or decades of Miami having virtually no steady running game (outside of Mr. Williams, circa 2002), but very few are giving credence to the Dolphins unmatched ground attack.

Which brings me back to the fucking Jets. I now cannot wait for the next few games. What I saw Monday night was two teams gradually headed in opposite directions and casting off the skins that they were wearing during the first three weeks of the season. During those first few games, the Dolphins, while strong both with and against the run, looked a bit of a mess in terms of passing offense and defense, and were giving up big plays at an alarming rate. Now, they're starting to shore up those holes and Henne has already shown real ability. The Jets created a massive stir with their blitzkrieg defensive approach and hot-shot rookie quarterback. Now, the luster is wearing off, opposing offenses are beginning to figure out how to deal with those berserker blitz packages, and Mark Sanchez is looking like a rookie quarterback. I have a sneaking suspicion that Rex Ryan might be heading down the same road his father went down back in the 90s when "Buddy Ball" was supposed to be the savior of the Arizona Cardinals - fun and exciting at the start, but ultimately ineffective. Schadenfreude may not be an honorable sentiment, but I hope to see Ryan get more and more frustrated, continue to take it out on his defense, see that defense simply stop buying into his schtick, and ultimately see them all roll over and die.

Flash forward past the bye week: I've got a much better feeling about the Saints game, and an even better one about the game after in New York. Just think, Phins fans, of what Henne will be able to do with three more weeks of practice time. If Rex Ryan really feels that Henne was "made to look like Dan Marino," last week, then I think they may have to fit him for a straight jacket after what Henne may very well do to the Jets in week 7.

The Times, They Have Changed

What a difference one game makes. The Dolphins are in the game again with the best divisional record in the AFC East and going into the by-week they now possess something they have spent nine long years gloomily pining for. The heir to Dan Marino.

Call me Jim Jones (the cult leader who gave us the expression "drinking the Kool Aid") or tell me that such a statement is knee jerk at best. What I will do is turn around, look you in the face and say that the Dolphins with Henne at the helm will beat the New Orlean Saints in two weeks. It's okay. I am a little crazy. But you can comeback and apologize after the game.


Those that know me from this blog or Matty I's The Phinsider or from the pod of Dolphins fans I run with know that I have been preaching the gospel of Chad Henne for quite some time. It wasn't just the fact that he has Spartacus' cleft chin or a cannon for an arm, but rather the thunderous voice bellowing at the line before the snap. More than the four-year Michigan pedigree it is the unflappable manner he handled his early mistakes. Not to mention his ability to demand better play and question veteran receivers from the get go. Not to mention the fact that his first NFL drive resulted in a touchdown. Did I mention the cannon-arm? Oh, okay. I wasn't sure.


Hedging my audacious claim, you need to know that I am fully aware that the New Orleans Saints may be the second best football team in the NFL (behind the real team from New York, the Giants). I realize that the Dolphins defense will be very hard pressed to defend a ridiculously potent passing attack led by QB Drew Brees. What I do think is that the Miami defense took several games last year to gel and that, or so I hope, will be the case this year. I expect this Saints game to be pinup material for them. This is gut-check time for them. It is time for them to realize that they are the weakness. They are the third of the team that needs to improve. With veterans like Joey Porter, Jason Taylor and Jason Ferguson on the team I think injured pride will translate into better play.

And if they fail we have our own way to put up points galore.

Added to the league's top rushing attack is our newly anointed savior, Spartacus Cannonarm Chad Henne

.

Basically I'm saying that just like last year, after some grim showings we are new team. Armed not with the careful death-by-paper-cut management of Chad Pennington (though some of that can be seen in Henne's careful pass selection). Now we can shove the ball down a vaunted defense's throat and then throw it over their heads.

Call it a prayer for deja vu, but I for one am invigorated by the total lack of respect that the Dolphins are being showed. Dig a hole and people will think you can't climb out. It's familiar territory for the Phins. Familiar territory for a team that is the reigning AFC East champ.

You Should Believe

Chad Henne.

20/26. 241 yards. 2 TDs. Gamer. Dolphins QB of the future.

juck the Fets.

It's time for a street fight.

It's cool and crisp up here in PA. A wonderful autumn evening awaits. The hot sauce is cooked up for the wings. The beer is sitting chilled in its cooler. Shots of bourbon are awaiting deployment in their bottle.

And my hands are getting harder by the minute.

On tap tonight we have what is essentially a playoff game. Strange that a game so early in the season can have such weighted implications, but alas, the Dolphins dropped a couple of winnable games early on and now need to build on the drubbing they gave Buffalo by beating the piss out of the jets.

This one is very simple.

The Dolphins have the no. 1 rush defense and the no. 1 rushing attack (how that can be and for them to be 1-3 is beyond my understanding).

The jets like to run the ball and they play very solid defense, ranking in the top 5 overall.

Two young QBs, in their fifth and second starts respectively, are behind center. Both teams will try to take away the other's running game and put the ball into the youngsters' hands.

These are two teams that have been feuding since OTAs. The duel of words between Rex Ryan and Channing Crowder have been fueled this last week by Akin Ayodele. Jason Taylor looked like he was going to bite the reporters' heads off this week. He was that stoically angry.

JT has always had a thing for the jets and their shit-for-brains fans.

Joey Porter hates anyone in an opposing jersey and summed up the atmosphere of the Dolphins locker room by stating that everyone is preparing for "an old-fashioned knuckled up fist fight in the parking lot."

Tonight will come down to the pass rush, methinks.

For the jets to win they will first need to stop the NFL's top ground game and keep Taylor, Porter and Wake off of Dirty Sanchez.

For the Phins to win they will need to stop Leon Washington and Thomas Jones (which I am confident will happen) and protect Henne better than they did last week. The running game will open up, perhaps no matter what, but especially if Henne can get involved in this one. If Chad Henne can play like he did last week, converting all those 3rd downs and sprinkle in a long toss or two, well, then I like our boys.

If this one goes well for the Phins then we can all breath a deep sigh of relief. They have all the talent in the world and only last week put it all together.

One thing is for sure, if the Dolphins control the ball like they do every week then Sanchez isn't going to beat them like Rivers and Manning did.

So here's to J-Peezy and company. Street fight on its way.

"How do you make your money, Joey Porter?"

"I knock people down."



juck the Fets, everyone. juck the Fets.

Old Fashioned Knuckle-Up

Every warm-blooded Dolphins fan needs to watch the Peezy interview on Aquavision.

Here's the link. Here's why you need to wait until the end to catch all of Peezy.

"That makes for a old-fashioned knuckled-up fight. And that's what we're looking for."
-Joey Porter on the Dolphins vs. jets.

Why O why is Monday so far away?

A Dolphins Legend - Marino and The Thunder God

On the seventh hour, of the seventh day,
on the seventh month, the seventh doctor said:
"He's born for good luck, and I know you see;
Got seven hundred dollars, and don't you mess with me
-Muddy Waters, Hoochie-Coochie Man

There is a story that is told sometimes in the swamps of South Florida. Not everyone knows this one, but like most good yarns, the ones that have heard it keep it close by. Like most swamp-tales it comes complete with a voodoo curse and a prophesy of redemption. It goes a little something like this...

In the Kingdom of Miami there was once a great leader, whose greatness was unrivaled. In fact his prowess was so unmatched that in time the thunder god, Dongo, came to hear from some of his worshipers that this great leader was in fact more powerful than he. This infuriated Dongo, whose might had never before been questioned. As is the case with such occurrences, Dongo set off to confront and challenge this great leader of men.

He was a god after all, and so he could not allow mere mortals to challenge his might.

The young leader was surprised when he came upon the thunder god one day. You can only imagine how much more surprised he was when the thunder god challenged him to a contest of might.

"You are a god, Dongo, and though I am a great man I have never once claimed to be your better. But yet you seem insistent on this challenge, and as a great man I honor your challenge and accept it. If the strength of my right arm allows it, I shall beat you too."

And so they went about their contest. The test would concern the hurling of thunder, of which both were adept. The field of contest was set and the two set forth to do battle.

The first test was one of accuracy.


The thunder god pointed across a field of one-hundred yards and said to the leader, whose name was Marino, "Do you see that small mosquito over there?"

"The smallest one?" Marino asked.

"Yes, the smallest. We shall try three times each to strike dead that mosquito. If one should hit it, then the next smallest will be the target. You shall go first."

Marino said nothing of the fact that he would be throwing at the smallest mosquitos for he Marino was not one to complain. Instead he grasped thunder with his mighty hand and threw it with all the power and strength that he had. His eyes were keen. His accuracy incredible. Three times out of three he struck the smallest mosquito. Perfect was his score.

Then it was the thunder god's turn. And Dongo grasped thunder with his mighty hand and with a great noise in the heavens he struck the first and second mosquitos. Those that had gathered nearby marveled at the power of the thunder god.

He reached down and pulled yet another thunderbolt to his hand and taking his time sent it across the field towards a relatively large mosquito, which was the last left. The throw missed. The thunder god had been bested by one shot.

With a great roar he admitted defeat. "There is yet two more challenged," he said, "of which the winner of two shall be considered the better. The next is a test of distance and the last is a test of flying."

The crowd booed for the last test was unfair as they knew that Marino, being a mortal man, could not fly. So all the thunder god had to do is win the test of distance and then he would win it all.

Marino was steely eyed however and to the god of thunder he said, go ahead, heave thunder as far as you can. Then I shall throw mine and we shall see who is the best out of the two.

The thunder god did not like the leader's confidence. Yet he was a god and he knew his own incredible might.

"Do you see that mountain over yonder?" the thunder god asked pointing off to the north west.

"Yes." Marino said and the crowd marveled at both competitors vision, as none of them could see a mountain anywhere.

"The winner shall strike that mountain as high up as is possible."

And with a great wind-up and heave he sent his thunderbolt flying and it flew so far that only the two competitors could see it land within yards of the mountain's summit.

Marino smiled and said that it was a good throw.

"Not good enough though..." Marino said and picked up a thunderbolt.

With little wind-up and with incredibly quick release he heaved mightily the bolt of thunder. The thunder god knew he was beaten as soon as it leapt from Marino's fingertips. The thunderbolt destroyed the mountain's top and kept sailing into the distance, for how long no one knows still for not even the god of the sky saw where it finally landed.

"I have beaten you, Dongo, and so you must recognize that I am your better."

Dongo was mad and feeling wicked. He spat out his words.

"So it is, Marino. Never has there been a thrower like you. Your people will cherish your time as leader. Though I curse you for your defiance of the gods. Never shall you lead your people to supreme victory. And since your talents are as great as thirteen men, for thirteen generations no leader of your people after you shall lead them to supreme victory. Thirteen leaders must come and go before another shall lead you to victory."

And Marino and the people were saddened to realize this. And so they waited for thirteen to come and go.


And on one Sunday, after the curse had laid low the 13th and most noble of the cursed leaders, a man came forward bearing the number 7, which is perfect. There are seven classical schools of learning. Seven seals in the times of the end. Seven visible planets.

With much chagrin the thunder god looked on as the curse was shattered and a new era dawned on the people of Miami, wherever they dwelt.

So Dongo, ever a tyrant, set thirteen obstacles for the young leader and his number 7, and these thirteen tests must be endured before his greatness could be realized.

Breathlessly the people await the first.

Farewell Chad Pennington, We Hardly Appreciated Ye...

With word coming down that Chad Pennington's shoulder is shredded, we may have seen his last tosses as a Miami Dolphin. I only re-embraced my following of this team a few years ago, in the midst of the 1-15 debacle season, and was treated to the quarterback (lack of) stylings of John Beck and Cleo Lemon. If you're asking yourself, "Who?", I don't blame you and in no way count it against your cred as a fan of the Dolphins. If I could, I would block out the images of Beck and Lemon's fumblings and errant passes. Alas, I can't and this is why I took such a liking to Chad Pennington.

When the man was signed shortly before the start of the '08 season, I knew him mostly by reputation, having not followed football for several years before about '05. The words I heard were encouraging: "smart". "efficient". "accurate." Of course, these all came with that dreaded caveat, "When healthy...", but after '07, that was a warning tag that I was willing to deal with.

Well, Chad stayed healthy, and he was as big a part of the Dolphins' success last year as anything or anyone else. Anyone who's watched the team knows that Pennington was not the prototypical, cannon-armed passer. What he was was the perfect field general for a team that needed stability as much as anything. Once again, he racked up the second best passer rating and the best completion percentage in the entire league, and he led the team to the greatest single-season turnaround in league history. And how did the NFL reward him? By snubbing him in the Pro-Bowl, not once but TWICE. I guess his glamour stats (19 touchdowns; 7 interceptions) just weren't gaudy enough. Story of his life, apparently.

Of course, Pennington took it with dignity and went into this year with some new teammates and far more expectations that last year, when there was nowhere to go but up. It's been a rough start, and it got as rough as possible for Pennington when, after an awkward fall, he had to get cut out of his jersey for sideline treatment. Now that I realize that Pennington will probably never start another game for Miami, I have to take complete stock of his legacy. I don't know that there's been a better quarterback on the team since number 13. This may not be saying a lot, considering the merry-go-round of mediocrity that has been the QB position for Miami, but it was worth number ten's weight in gold to have an unflappable guy with a great head for the game behind center. Seeing what is likely the end of his short career with the Dolphins on the sidelines last week saddened me a bit. In a weird, disquieting way, it's almost like a capsule of Pennington's career - just enough talent and more than enough brains to be great, but none of the breaks.

As a final, brighter thought, the man who is now going to be taking the snaps gives me pride and inspiration for the future. The fifth paragraph says it all:

"Chad is a man of detail, preparation, leadership. There is no better person to learn from at the quarterback position I feel, so far in my career," said Henne, who has led three scoring drives on six chances in his brief career. "He has been there through thick and thin. We have been there together. He is a great person and great quarterback to role model off of. That is all I am asking for, to try to role model after him and be the same for our guys."

I find Henne's comments on the situation warming and they give me hope that Pennington's game acumen and work ethic are not going to be lost on our new young QB. Here's hoping.

Dolphins NT Paul Soliai Loses Multiple Family Members In Tsunami

Paul's hometown of Pago Pago in American Samoa was hit particularly hard by this week's tremendous tsunami.

Ten family members including his aunt and several on his wife's side were lost in the natural disaster. More are still missing. Our condolences are with Paul and his family.

Here is a link to the Palm Beach Post's coverage. Paul plans to dedicate this Sunday's game to his lost family in true warrior spirit.

Something tells me that the Haka will be involved. That and some terrified Bill's linemen. I hope, nay, I pray Joey Porter gets involved with the Haka too.