It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn - Mike Nolan Interviewing With The Dolphins

Get your, "Good things come to those who wait" type cliches ready because Nolan will be a Dolphin.

Okay. Deep breath. This off-season has not exactly gone well. The zombie horde that is the NY jets is playing in the AFC Championship game. We have to listen to more Brett Favre bullshit than should be legal. The Dolphins fired their defensive coordinator and have been dissed by two different coaches. Al Groh wanted to be a college defensive coordinator. The Steelers linebacker coach, Keith Butler seemed to rather stay a linebackers coach than the Dolphins DC.

Not exactly the feeling of being "the team to join" like last year. The reality is that the Dolphins are a 7-9 team with aging OLBs, a problem at free safety and in the possession of two of the lowest rated interior linebackers in the NFL.

Then this happened. The madman that is Josh McDaniels decided to allow (or asked him to leave) Mike Nolan to give up the reigns as Denver's defensive coordinator.

That is the same Mike Nolan who took the 29th ranked defense (2008) and in a single year had them ranked 7th. That's with some Dolphins castoffs and some talented retreads (Brian Dawkins).

Nolan's exodus is most likely tied to the former DC in New England, Dean Pees, who resigned following the Patriots loss to Baltimore.

So Josh McDaniels gets his shitty but loyal guy and the Dolphins are now aggressively seeking Nolan, who should be in South Florida to interview by Wednesday.

Nolan even has some experience with Parcells, as he was the DC for the jets in 2000 when Bill Parcells was team president.

What is incredible about this is that Nolan is both young and fiery. He is a guy who players are loyal to and who runs one of the more aggressive, blitz oriented 3-4 schemes.

Mike Nolan is, in short, the cure for what ails the Dolphins defense. Does Patrick Willis mean anything to you? Well, Nolan drafted and worked with Willis.

Rolondo McClain anyone?

Bill Sheridan "Practically" In and Al Groh Is Next?

Hey Tone, who's going to coach me up?

As you all surely know, Paul Pasqualoni has been terminated as the Dolphins defensive coordinator. Add to that the departures of both the inside linebackers coach and outside linebackers coach and you have three vacancies.

The substantial word on the streets, AKA the best secret left unhidden, is that the NY Giants former defensive coordinator and linebackers coach, Bill Sheridan, will be joining the Phins as the linebackers coach. Whether this will be coaching the inside or outside, or perhaps both, is unknown.


Sheridan coached only one season as the DC in NY, and the Giants defense finished 13th in the league. They broke down after the first six games, mainly in the secondary, and allowed several 40+ point games at the end of the season. This was enough to force the Giants to terminate Sheridan.

The thing about this though, as you are probably already thinking, is that he is being hired to coach the linebackers not run an entire defense. This is something he is very good at. From 2005-2008 the Giants fielded a very solid linebacking corps, which included the likes of Antonio Pierce and more apropos to the Phins 3-4 system, Mathias Kiwanuka.

Kiwanuka, due to injuries to other personnel, successfully converted from 4-3 end to 4-3 outside linebacker on the strong side. He played very well for a 266 lbs guy in coverage. He then rotated back and forth from linebacker to defensive end when Osi Umenyiora went out in early 2008 during training camp.

You can obviously see the thread I'm tugging on. Sheridan turned a defensive end into a 4-3 outside linebacker. In other words he can really coach. My guess is that Sheridan will handle coaching up Wake to play in coverage and keep him on the field more next season, let alone getting more out of the two interior guys whoever they may be next year.

So the Sheridan signing is genius in my opinion. Teach Cam Wake to play in coverage. Let him destroy QBs on every other down. That and squeeze everything we can get out of third round selection, Micah Johnson. Sorry. That part might be fiction.

The secondary aspect about signing Sheridan is that it also brings on board a guy who can run an entire defense, which could be handy if we bring in the next guy I'm about to talk about.


Al Groh. Let's get a couple of things about the former University of Virginia head coach straight before talking what signing Al Groh would mean. Groh is not Dick LeBeau. He is not the recently deceased Jim Johnson. He isn't even Dom Capers. This is not a guy who has eight million blitzing schemes drawn-up on his shower curtain. He is yet a hard-nosed guy who will run a gap control defense that concerns itself with pressure more than glittery blitzing. He is basically a more accomplished version of Pasqualoni.

Groh has thrived under Parcells in the past. Groh has been nearly every kind of coach on the defensive side of the ball and has a lot of experience at head coach, even for a year at the professional level as the guy who followed Bill Parcells after his stint with the jets.

Groh has coached defensively for Parcells at nearly every stop the Big Tuna has made. The exception is Dallas.

What Groh would create is a stabilizing force who could both "coach up" and "fire up" players like a head coach as well as provide system continuity between what Pasqualoni was running and what he will install.

Like I said before, it is an upgraded version of what we already have. The guy did turn Chris Long into a defensive phenomena. Too bad Long he ended up on the Rams, never to be heard from again.

Back to Sheridan. Bill Sheridan is fifty years old and could potentially be groomed to fill in for Groh if he again finds himself courted as a head coach on the collegiate or professional level.

All that speculation aside, there are a couple of other names that are out there. One of them is former Browns head coach and longtime Parcells disciple (of the Belichick clan) Romeo Crennel. Romeo would be fine with me, as he seems to win player's respect and has run defenses that have maximized talented 3-4 down lineman in the past. Think Willie McGinist and Richard Seymour.

Crennel's agent has said that the Chiefs have first shot at Romeo's services and that in football agent speak sounds like a deal.

One other name that came up, and I think was totally preposterous, is Bengals defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer. His contract was up and he had turned the Bengals defense into a viable unit (after drafting a shit ton of top flight linebackers mind you). He is a 4-3 guy and no way in hell are they switching to that. Anyway, the Bengals retained Zimmer. So that is a moot point.

What I'd like to know is what blitz crazed mad scientist is out there coaching the 3-4 on the collegiate level. Where are thou, Dick LeBeau junior?

This Is Don Shula's Orange and Teal Earth

Until they drive the spike through my cold, beer-soaked hear I will be "talking Super Bowl."

In Fear and Tembling the Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard defines pure faith as absurd. In Kierkegaard's reasoning there is only one single example of pure faith and one clear instance of its reckoning.

Kierkegaard believed that the singular moment of faith in the history of mankind was the moment when Abraham brings his son Isaac to the mount as sacrifice, as god has asked him to do so. God had promised to Abraham that his son would become great and father many nations. God had promised a blessed life for Abraham's son. Thus god's request for Isaac's life was contrary to god's own previous law and and this makes the entire situation paradoxical for a reasoning man.

Abraham wasn't a reasoning man. He was a man of faith. The contrary notions do not occur to him. Only the will god and his need to execute it does.

Soren Kierkegaard has been dead for well over a hundred years. He never knew that on January 1st, 2010 there would be another instance of faith, surpassing even that of Abraham's. I mean, he controlled his own playoff spot. All he had to do is obey god.

We Dolphins fans however must rely purely on faith. I know the Phins will go to the playoffs because I have faith in them.

If they don't, well, then I'll go worship Baal or something.

GO PHINS! Let's beat the shit of the Steeler's and their extra gay mascot.

The Sun Sets, but a Pale Light Remains

Jake LaMotta knew how the Dolphins & I felt by halftime this past Sunday

By the end of the game against the Texans, the Dolphins had managed enough of a comeback to maintain a certain amount of self-respect ("You never got me down, Ray."), and to push down some of the bile rising in my throat. Still, there was no doubt which was the better team that day. It was nauseating.

As dejected as I was after that affair, the desperately optimistic part of me was glad to see that, by the numbers, Miami's not out of it yet.

Here's the step-by-step miracle that we should hope for, in no particular order of impossibility:

The one o'clocks:

(1) The Browns beat the Jaguars. We may actually have a decent shot at this one. The Jags, while mathematically alive, are even less so than the Dolphins. They're playing in Cleveland and Mangini has to be on a really short leash, feeling the Arctic walrus breath of Mike Holmgreen on the back of his neck. The Browns have actually won a few games and may do the Phins a favor here. Impossibility Factor: 4/10


(2) The Patriots beat the Texans. Belichik may be pulling up stakes and heading for the playoffs in this one. The Pats have very little to play for at this point (home field in their 2nd playoff game, possibly), and the Texans are playing for everything. It's in Houston, where the fans are starving for a trip to the playoffs that will legitimize their existence. And, deep down, what would Satan's minion, Belichik, love more than to send one right up the Dolphins' cornhole by mailing it in? Impossibility Factor: 7/10


(3) The Game. If the Dolphins don't win, then nothing else in this post matters, really. However, without the bother of scoreboard-watching, I think they have an excellent chance to win. It's in Miami, the Steelers look to be without Polamolu to end the season, and our guys have to still be smoldering at how they played that first half against Houston. If they can keep the fire they showed in the second half kindled, they should be kicking dirt on Pittsburgh's season by 3:00. Impossibility Factor: 2/10


If the football gods have grown tired of smiting the Dolphins and deign to grant them the previous three boons, then we can stay tuned at 4:15 for:


(4) The Raiders beat the Ravens. Earlier this year, this would have been laughable. Now, though, I'm a bit more confident. The Ravens are a bit banged up and have to travel to the west coast, where the Raiders have been showing some vague resemblance to an NFL team in recent weeks. Some of the actual talent on that team is showing up, and they've shocked more than one decent team this year. The Ravens are never a walk-over, but I see the Raiders taking them out. Impossibility Factor: 5/10


And should the Dolphins still be swimming, point your bottle noses to this one at 8:20:


(5) The Bengals beat the Jets. Not only the last snag of this Gordian knot, but maybe also the tightest. Like the Pats/Texans game, this one is yin for one team, yang for the other. The Jets are playing for their lives, and the Bengals can afford to use this as their de facto bye week. Cincinnati coach Marvin Lewis says he's going into it "full speed," due to his team's youth, in the hopes of avoiding complacency. I truly hope that's not just smoke & mirrors. The game is in the Meadowlands, and will be the final pro football game there, ever. The fans will be berserk. Maybe a horde of drunken Jets fans will storm the field, urinate on the refs, and the Jets will be disqualified. You may laugh, but these are Jets fans we're talking about here. Barring that, this one doesn't look good for the guys in teal. Impossibility Factor: 8/10


So there you have it. It's a true gauntlet. If the Dolphins come through this one with a playoff spot in their flippers, I swear that next season I will not say word one against the football gods. Hear my plea, oh Mighty Ones!! (If you can't grant me this slew of victories, at least let me see Dan Marino storm the field in Jersey, wearing a teal suit, and give Rex Ryan a flying side kick to all of his four chins. It may be more likely than the wins. And more rewarding.)

All I Want For Christmas Is Some Dead, Grilled Steak

No offense to driftin, who hails from Texas. Incidentally he does have horns so that about settles that.

The Titans are eliminated. The Eagles will handle the Broncos today and the Steelers, I know in my heart of hearts, will defeat the Ravens.

This of course will make next Sunday's game against the Steelers an honest-to-goodness, non-cliche, playoff game.

Oh. I forgot. We've never beaten the Texans.

Without resulting to concepts such as "being due" I'll make my bold proclamation right here. The Dolphins will beat the Texans today.

The Andre Johnson Thing

That is taking into consideration how a mobile quarterback and the best wide receiver in football will somehow not destroy the Miami secondary. Granted, Vontae Davis and Sean Smith have risen to the occasion nearly every time they've faced a top flight receiver.

What I don't like is how top flight Andre Johnson is. I'm not sure he can be stopped and so I'll waive the white flag and say that if the Phins can hold him to a TD and less than a hundred yards they've got a shot.

Point blank: They won't cover him.

The Trenches

What they can do is pressure the QB and this has never been more necessary that today.

On the flip side the Phins protection has to step up. Mario Williams and company are very good, as is Demeco Ryans at the linebacker spot. Lousaka Polite and base protections are going to have to spring Williams for some big plays. The Phins have to get back to looking to the run game for big plays and alleviate some pressure from Chad Henne.

Chad Henne

And speaking of Spartacus Cannonarm, the leash needs to come back out. While I fully believe this is a future Pro Bowl QB, he is still essentially a rookie and playing with a average receiving corps. One of the bigest keys today's game will be to get Henne back to a Pennington-esque game managing style game where big plays develop organically instead of being forced.

Trick Plays Welcome

The cute shit hurt us lots in some previous weeks but I'm going on the record here saying that a reverse or a true wildcat formation (with White at QB and Williams as the "cat") would be welcomed by me. Hell, I'm even for it at nail biting times.

The bottom line is that the Dolphins are still a team that needs an "x" factor. We're close to being a team that can simply line-up and beat teams up on both sides of the ball but close, as they say, counts in games other than the one we're concerned with.

So all that said, here's to a perfect Sunday in Dolphins world. I saw it in the crystal ball so rest assured it will happen.

I Believe

Fuck the zebras. How's that for a start?

I won't get into the bullshit holding calls on Paul Soliai. Especially because my previous post and lead picture seemed to auger future events. Bully for me, eh buds?

I also won't discuss the disappearing fumble, the invention of unnecessary roughness and other works of metaphysics.

What I will tell you is that the Broncos are going to lose two more games and the Dolphins will win two more.

Amidst the gloom of this horrid loss I am telling you, Dolfans, that the Miami Dolphins have a very real shot at making the playoffs.

The Broncos will lose to the Eagles next week and then, sayetht he prophet The Phinisher, Chris Chambers will have a big day and win one for the Dolphins.

Mark it. Love it. Cherish you fates.

Really? I'm Calling Bullshit On That.

Well, we're snowbound up here in PA. Luckily we've organized an 11am kickoff for some snow football and in a mere hour or so I will be warming up for it with a beer or three. Then it will be time to watch the Dolphins.

Before I begin my rant I'd like to take a moment and give the Titans some props. That is the flavor of the moment on Dolphins blogs, articles and everywhere else on Shula's Orange and Teal Earth.

This is the best team that the Dolphins will have to face in their final three games. This Titans team is far more closely related to last year's team that went 13-3 and then got hosed in the playoffs by some awful calls against the Ravens.

Fuck the Ravens. Fuck Cam Cameron. Fuck the Pats. And hell, why not make it a triple: Fuck the Jets again, for the third time.

Outburst shelved, let me now say that the Titans are not as good at the things the Dolphins are bad at as people seem to think. Yes, the Phins slow middle linebackers are going to have trouble containing Vince Young on broken plays or delayed QB keepers.

But no, Vince Young is not going to make them pay by throwing to an athletic tight end that exploits the linebackers and Gibril Wilson up the middle of the field. No, their wide receivers, though good, are not exactly the hardest match-ups our young DBs have faced.

The Chris Johnson thing... The guy is sick. He is way too fast and seems to glide forward, backward and to the side all at once when he makes a cut. While Johnson is small, he is also tough and uses his ridiculous velocity to break tackles. The stats don't lie: This is the best running back the Phins have faced all year.

That said, they've faced and stopped some really good ones too. Michael Turner. Thomas Jones. Ladainian Tomlinson & Darren Sproles. Maurice Jones Drew. Fred Jackson and Marshawn Lynch.

There are some good backs and the key stats there are how they played against the elite ones. MJD got shut down last week. Michael Turner the same. So while Chris Johnson can score on any play, I am not willing to come into the game expecting to see him set history. I trust our boys up front.

Finally let me address this Kevin Mawae vs. Paul Soliai thing. All week long the South Florida media has been nursing from Mawae's johnson. Omar Kelly, who is usually one of my favorites, even went so far as to describe Soliai as a "baby" when facing Mawae.

Keven Mawae, 6'4" and 289 lbs.

Paul Soliai, 6'4" and 355 lbs.

Soliai has 19 tackles and a very impressive forced fumble in limited play. Since Jason Ferguson went down Paul has been asked to step his play and fill in. He nursed an ankle sprain for a couple weeks but has been dominant in his return. Last week against the Jaguars, Soliai registered four tackles and one of them for a loss.

The media, and probably his teammates as well, have put the sombrero on Paul this week. He's going against one of the nastiest, dirtiest centers in the league. A guy who makes up for his small size with dirty tricks and hard-as-nails play.

From all accounts Paul is ready.

"I've been watching film of Mawae and all he does is single block people. I hope he gives me the same. If the opponent runs the ball well it's my fault, especially if they run it up the middle."
-Paul Soliai, taking responsibility.

And speaking of badass defensive lineman, let me finish this post with one brief concept.


Randy Starks is playing his first game against the Titans since they parted ways.

I'm calling it: Two sack day for Starks. That's Randy "Straight Ballin" Starks. Randy "I Devour" Starks. Randy "Please, Go For It On Fourth Down" Starks.

So "bullshit." I don't see why so many people are finding themselves with limp dicks this Sunday morning. The Phins win today and when they do you find yourself pulling for a team that can beat anyone.